Overcoming Frustration in Dancing

Frustration in dancing tends to happen when we don’t meet our goals. Overcoming frustration in dancing can be difficult. We might get unhappy at missing a goal or from struggling along the way. There are lots of reasons that this happens.The causes of our frustrations either come from internal things that are within our control, but often from things outside our control. Some of us feel frustration deep in our hearts, others just brush it of as the cost of doing business.

Overcoming frustration in west coast swing is tricky

The journey through the stages of dancing West Coast Swing will frustrate the best of us.

What can you do about it?

Ask your self this question… What is frustrating me? As a second question…. Can I control this or can’t I?  It important for us to identify what things we can control and what things we cannot. From there it becomes much easier to create a plan to overcome our frustrations in dancing. Ultimately we want to to not only achieve our goals, but to simply be happy about our dancing.

The biggest variable in your success and happiness will be YOU!

Part 1 –  Change what you can

1. Identify what you want to change

Sometimes people skip this simple step. What is it that you would really like to change thats frustrating you? Pick something! Is it your footwork? Your styling? Chose the topic that bothers you the most so you can move to making it better.

2. Do something about it

Fail to plan and plan to fail. Create a mini system to fix your problems. Perhaps you can create a practice group? Maybe you can commit to practicing your footwork just 20 minutes 3 times per week. It shocks me how long people delay overcoming frustration with their dancing by not taking action! DO SOMETHING and DO IT CONSISTENTLY to make things better.

3. Track you progress

Keep a log of your progress. Maybe its on video. Maybe its written. I have a student that pulls out old competition results or old videos of when she stated to remind herself how far she’s come. I think you should do something similar. The feeling of wanting to be a little bit better will always be there. Its important to realize how far you’ve come!

4. Get a reality check

This one is hard to swallow. Get someone that you trust to he honest with you. Perhaps its a coach or just a good friend. Have them tell your the truth. Maybe you need to hear that you will never be Tatiana Mollmon. Seriously I have had students that think they can compete with the top girls in the world despite being in their 50’s and very little dance background. If they understood this reality then they would be free to become the best version of themselves on the dance floor!

BUT….sometimes it goes the other way. I have had students win several competitions then take a 3rd place and they crumble.

Sometimes you need to hear that YOU ARE BETTER THEN YOU THINK!

Part 2 – Learn to accept what you cannot change

The are no real steps to this part of the process. Sometimes we have to learn to be at be peace with things that are out of our control. As a competition you cannot control what your competitors do, not can you control the judges.  As a social dancer you cannot control the random person criticizing you on the dance floor, nor can you control the fact that you didn’t start dancing earlier in life. Start to be thankful for what you do have and what you can control! Over the years I have seen so many people let these types things ruin days, weeks, months and sometimes YEARS of their dancing. Sometimes the best route to overcoming your frustration is to simply accept things as they are.

Final thoughts…

Please, I urge you, please take consistent action toward your goal. We are all going to have setbacks and frustrations but if have a goal and a plan to achieve it, you well on your way to success! All too many times dancers skip these basic steps on the road to success and they are left frustrated and lost. Don’t let this be you!

All the best in dance,
Brian B

PS If you have any questions I can help you with, please email me  I’m happy to help!

PPS check out the biggest struggles of west coast swing (and their solutions)

4 thoughts on “Overcoming Frustration in Dancing”

  1. I tried to download the video about the turning better on one foot but it is not pulling up! How can I get it ?

  2. Dancer’s, or anyone, we must first take responsibility to make our own fun. When dancing with others of different skill level never offer any more than 1 critique. When not sure of what to say, encourage them to try, try again. If you are concerned about a strong lead, first ask yourself, what kind of commitment did you bring to this partnership. Partnership begins with meeting in the middle. Never stop someone’s growth in learning because you think you know what you are doing. Always leave room to learn. Humility is where we all start from. Keep your beginning’s in mind! There is much more to Dance than just West Cost Swing. Practice all the skills you learn.

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